Sunday, May 31, 2009
Under the blue metal bottom of the plane was more blue sky. No clouds to cushion a fall. Not that clouds were solid, Kate reminded herself. Still, nothing but a clean drop to the ground from here. Why did her eyes keep lingering on the emergency latch near her seat? Nothing to be... fear is... She couldn't think around it. Like a big cloud in her head that was as solid as a pillow. One you thought you might be able to push through but somehow you couldn't penetrate. Or maybe she didn't want to. Like she had placed little guards around this mental cloud to remind her, "You really don't want to go through this." So Kate didn't. Didn't torment herself. Didn't think about where she was going. Didn't think about who was waiting for her. Didn't think about fear. She felt it but didn't acknowledge it. So for the entire plane ride, her heart beat faster than normal and her hands shook slightly when they weren't sitting tensly on her lap. And she couldn't think why.