Saturday, August 7, 2010

As I was cleaning my room today...

I found a bit of paper that had been ripped off a math worksheet, which I had written something on. I thought I would share it with you:

This is my packet. I eat paper and slap people with fishes. The sun goes up and the moon comes down. My sister is named Alba and she is not related to me. She spits lava onto cars to clean them. Those are the cleanest cars I've ever seen! Alba is french and she likes to tondre le gazon. I don't know why, but it makes her really happy. (When Alba is happy, she sweats a lot- weird). Teri is my dog. She flys south every winter, and it is always winter here, so I never see her. This makes me nervous. I cry when the cats howl at the rising tide; it's so sad - like they fear for death.

......................................................

When my husband died, I swore I would never eat cheese again. But now, if I even see cheese; I break out in hives. I eat it with my eyes closed. My husband is in heaven, so I don't think he minds.

5 comments:

Katie Marie said...

Glad to see you were paying attention in math class ;). Is this recent? Were you writing a story?

Heidi Rose said...

Kelly made the observation that the math problems looked like basic algebra, so this was probably my sophomore year. No, it's not a story, I just decided to write a bunch of lies. haha

Katie Marie said...

SO funny! I like the part where you 'slap people with fishes.'

Lilly Anne said...

I like this.

Kelly Renée said...

Oh my god I love this. xD
I love hearing your untruthful tellings.